Finding Yourself in the Midst of Chaos

My friend, Jeff, once told me that my life is always full of adventure. I prefer to think of it as chaos but "adventure" works well, too. This month is no exception. Next month will be just as chaotic (but a tad more fun).

Since starting the detox phase, I've had a few setbacks. I was really nauseated last week and into the weekend. By Sunday, my body just stopped cooperating with me. The detox pill was having an adverse effect on the issues I already have going on in my body. I became bloated, again. I gained a pound or two (likely from gas and lack of, um, waste). By Sunday afternoon, I pulled my sh*t together and made dinner for my cousins, my nephew and his girlfriend, and my lovely hubby. This was after 12 hours of resting and doing just about nothing. Cheating on my diet and then detoxing had a negative effect on me and it also got me back on course.

In the midst of all of this, I started to feel like my "old" self - while still dealing with my "new" self. My new normal is becoming my regular normal but my old self started popping through. I started to feel more comfortable in my body ... until I was at Costco and some lady (who saw me with the two boys) asked me when I was due and if I want a little girl. I politely told her I wasn't pregnant and wasn't expecting to be for a little while. That was quite a blow to my self esteem until my cousin, Tiff, came to the rescue and said she could see the change in how I look and how I felt.

On top of craziness at work, birthday parties, Valentine's Day, and potty training the older boy - I somehow started connecting with myself, again. This may be due to my (very) early-morning workouts where I either watch TV or read while I walk/run the treadmill. It's my "me" time. Being able to go to work with 5k steps already logged for the day has been amazing! I don't struggle trying to find time for me. I get it very early in the morning. And I really think this has helped me feel more confident in my own skin. I haven't felt that way since I was in my 20s.

It's crazy to think how kismet this journey has been. After years of feeling so broken, I am starting to feel whole again... but it took me being sick, getting depressed, and then starting a new lifestyle to finally get back to that point. There are rough days - and I feel them. But they are few and far between now. I'm really excited to share the rest of this journey with you.

The Detox Phase

My energy levels...

I'm movin' on up ... in this four month process of getting better. I'm starting the detox phase of my diet. My doctor wanted to postpone it but I said "I'd rather feel like shit now than in March". Why? Because my best friends from Israel are visiting in March and I'd rather not feel sick to my stomach.

Downside? I'm going to feel like shit the rest of this month and likely for the next few months.

Upside? This will hopefully get rid of the toxins in my system.

Side effects? Not entirely sure but I can tell you that there's a lot of...um...waste. Yup. Lots of that. I did some digging on side effects of "MetalloClear" but really couldn't find any. People who blog mentioned that high doses make them sick, so I guess it's a good thing we're starting off slowly. No headaches. No nausea. Just some bloating and, um, that waste stuff I was talking about.

After sitting with Dr. Simmons yesterday, we reviewed some of my labs and we learned that I have a vitamin and mineral deficiency (which I kind of already knew). My body doesn't like to absorb vitamins and minerals for some stupid reason. I was prescribed another supplement to try to get my body to absorb fats properly, so it stops holding onto the fat in my system. Hoarding is bad. Your body hoarding fat is worse.

Since my little escape off the diet-deep-end, I gained back two pounds. I'm 99% sure that'll go away tomorrow. It's the whole "waste" issue. And also the fact that I went ape shit for sugar. I reeled it back in today. Vegetables are my best friend. So is cinnamon tea.

I'll keep you all up to date on this latest phase within the next few weeks!

Cheating ... On My Diet

Since starting my healthy lifestyle back in January, I've had a few moments where I cheated before I was supposed to introduce a certain food. Yesterday was a BIG cheat day for me - it was my son's 4th birthday party.

Yup. I'm a cheater. A big 'ol cheater.

I ate pita bread and cheese...and cheesecake... not a lot of it but enough to give me gas and have my inner voice laugh at me because I knew it was a bad choice.

So, this morning, I ate vanilla coconut yogurt with gluten free oat granola and 100% cacao nibs. It wasn't as gross as I thought it would be. For lunch, I'll grab a salad from the Breadstick and add just under 4oz of chicken to it. Back on the bandwagon!

In truth, I've been sick for about a month and the combination of a sinus infection and the antibiotics they gave me are making me not want to eat. So, if I cheat a little when I'm sick I'm going to cut myself some slack because I actually needed to eat. Living on chicken soup really isn't fun - although it did allow me to lose about three pounds.

So, I'm down 13 pounds - which is great but I wish it came off from working out and not from failing to eat due to lack of hunger.

I've only had four dysautonomia symptoms since starting this diet: nauseousness when I'm sick; sinus tachycardia when I don't drink enough water; heat sensitivity; and one dizzy spell from clogged sinuses. Honestly, if those are the only issues I really have - I'm ok with it. I consider this experiment to be a success! I may only be six weeks into it but I feel so much better...even if I do decide to cheat every once in a while.